Having nearly completed my first year at uni I can tell that year 2 is going to be even more difficult and that the expectations are high.
From the beginning of secondary school right up until now, I have gone through education with expectations form my peers and teachers to do well.
Now, I'm not saying I'm a smarty pants and consecutively receive straight A's and firsts but I do like to think I do pretty well and people shouldn't make me feel ashamed for saying that even when I receive a B instead of an A or a 2:2 instead of a first as everyone has something they struggle with and to have still passed that is and achievement for me even if it isn't good and up to your standards and expectations of me.
I am one of those people who starts work straight away as soon as they get it so I have chance to edit it when needs be and check over it 545 times but it also gives me that comfort to know that I have it finished in plenty of time and to not rush at the last minute. I often get laughed at by my friends for doing this because they are very last minute people and that's totally fine, do what suits you best!
But remember, by me potentially getting it done and finishing it before you doesn't necessarily mean I found it much easier and that I am expected to get a better grade. This infuriates me loads when peers say this as it makes you feel 100x worse when you look at your mark and you receive a 2:1. Not because a 2:1 is bad, because it definitely isn't, but because of the pressure that was put on me and the expectations people had of me to receive a high mark and to be honest makes you feel really shitty about yourself as you think to yourself that they are laughing at you as if to say "well I started mine yesterday and I got 1 mark higher" or "what happened you usually receive firsts" I am happy for you, I really am, I want you to be proud of your success, I don't want you not to tell people and not show it of because you should be proud of yourself, but don't then make other people feel bad for not doing as well just because of the expectations you have of them for having received two firsts in previous assignments and maybe have found them easier but still going wrong somewhere to have not gained full marks and that's totally fine.
This was very common in sixth form with bitchy people who would always talk about their success but never be proud of you, and rub it in your face when they got higher. I was never like that I was always for praising others instead of myself as I know what a bit of praise can feel like when you've done a good piece of work, but I'm glad to now say that I've found a good group of friends who are all different for when it comes to work ethic, but we are never for putting people down or acting surprised when they didn't receive that first they definitely should have got because they knew the answer in class but worded it wrong in the test and it just feels so much nicer and welcoming to have friends like that.
I also believe that I put more weight on my shoulders when I put the expectation on myself by not wanting to let people down especially teachers who go the extra mile to help you but you still don't receive top marks which they had faith that you could and are probably disheartened for you but that just makes you feel worse because you weren't just doing it for yourself you were doing it for them too. This is something I worried about when taking my theory and practical car test as I know my driving instructor was so confident in me but I wasn't and when I took my test I was determined to do it for her more than I was to do it for myself.
I know a lot of people who have high expectations put on them from their family members which can be challenging for them and upsetting when, even though they tried their hardest they didn't get full marks and get nervous to tell their parents, I sometimes get like that when I involve people in my work and they commit their time to help me possibly receive a better grade especially when it is something I was struggling with, but my parents have always been those "you tried your best and that's all you can do" type and I'm so thankful that they are but I still have that mindset that I wan't to do well to make my parents proud and even though I know they'll be proud of me no matter what grade I get and that it's only my little brain piling more stress on me to think about and the expectations to achieve.
I'd love to see what your thoughts on this are and see if you also feel the same way I do or if you don't feel the need to please anyone but yourself which is great! Let me know in the comments below.
Thank you for reading,
see you soon
Katie x
